It's all worth it

My heart is full and my mind and body are tired. How these two coexist so often is beyond me. But they do. And this time of year more than any other, I find myself in this place. Pastors College graduation. The culmination of all that we've invested in all year. The dear students we now call close friends - and a year's worth of memories to prove it. Hangout times with the wives - movie nights, spa nights, dinners out, so many nights up late talking - I have so many sweet memories with these ladies... And also with the 9 guys whom I now count brothers. Class upon class. New instructors every week. Intense amounts of studying. Trying my best to encourage them midst crazy deadlines. Watching them grapple with deep theological truth every week. It has been an absolute joy watching these men be equipped for pastoral ministry. So this season holds much for me. It is the busiest at work, preparing to end a school year and send these folks off. And it is one of the sweetest seasons as we just enjoy the last times we have together as a class. Reflecting on how good our God has been! It is also one of the hardest for me personally. You see, I'm one of those people who really loves deeply. This is a perfect job for me, as I have the joy of pouring my life into people every year. And doing all I can to serve them as they are equipped for pastoral ministry. And it is an unspeakable privilege. But with it comes inexpressible sadness as well. For the ties run deep. The affection is strong. But in these moments, in these seasons -this week being one of them - I want to look away from myself and fix my eyes on my Savior! I must let go. I must send these dear folks off with joy. The gospel compels me to do this. It is because of Him that this is all even worth it. Sometimes a regular job where it doesn't hurt so much sounds appealing. But I quickly remember that this sacrifice, while deeply pulling at my heart, is one that I count a privilege. Year after year. So the gospel can go forward. So this is where the rubber meets the road. This is where the sacrifice is made real. This is where it gets hard. This Sunday as we celebrate the class of 2013, I will be in the front row at my post. A big smile on my face. Tears in my eyes. And joy in my heart. This sending is worth it because of Christ. It all is. Oh so worth it.